What is happening? We were the ones who got affected, we were the ones who lost friends, families, we were the ones who lost the life we have always known, and yet we are the ones being ridiculed by the government, by the President who, of all people, we expect to be the one to spearhead in helping us get through this. THIS. THIS means the darkest days, months, and maybe years of our f@%cking lives. And what are they doing? Instead of giving us a hand, they pushed, kicked and shoved us aside, blaming us for the deaths of the people we loved. Excuse me, you bastard, we never intended for this to happen and frankly, being hit by the super typhoon, being the center of it IS NOT OUR FUCKING FAULT. Yes, I get that your concern was that we weren’t prepared enough which caused the thousands of deaths, but what do you want us to do? Build a fucking time machine, go back to that wretched day and maybe save a few more lives? Because to be honest, no matter how much we prepare, THIS WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. Because, for pete’s sake this was a freaking super typhoon that should have been labelled category 6 which is even stronger than the hurricane Katrina that killed thousands in the US. We don’t get to choose if we wanted to get hit, I mean no one can, and not that I wanted it to hit other places but right now all we need is your support. Stop rubbing salt on our wounds, because they are barely healing and may not heal at all of you keep ripping it open and striking where it hurts the most. What happened to being ONE COUNTRY? Shove that up your ass ‘cause you are not fooling us, not now. Not ever. Not after what you did. F@&K YOU AND MAY YOU BE DAMNED IN HELL.
You don’t surround yourself with people that make you feel like shit.
I wish that I can talk to someone. Someone I could confide with all the things that had me bothered, or the things that I just need to get off my chest. With everything so pent up inside, I just want to burst out and yell and shout and curse at people. But then, I get a hold of myself and just keep it in, smile and act like it didn’t faze me. That I am okay. But I am not. Because even if I know they don’t mean it, it still hurts. And with the constant reminder that I am just some annoying person that isn’t supposed to belong, I really don’t know what to do. All of these goes crashing through my chest, making it as heavy as thousands of anvils stacked together. Those blunt replies that make you feel shit, well, they make me feel something more than shit. Even if I want to do the same, I don’t have the heart to do so. *sigh This is getting dramatic, and I hate it. But words help me release all these, it helps me feel better even if just a little.
Random shit I write…
Some time in your life, you meet someone and in an instant, you see both of your lives intertwining in the future and you have this thought in your head that she will be THE one for you. And you keep that thought in your head and you stop looking at other girls because you have patterned your brain to think otherwise. You keep telling yourself that she is the one for you, that she will be your forever girl. One whom you would gladly give up a part of your life, and all of your heart, just to please. And the sad thing is, she belongs to someone else and you can’t do anything but watch her give her heart away, one you think must belong to you and only you. Despite of this, you lay faithful, thinking that someday she will wake up and decide that you are the one she should be in love with.
But then, you start to realize things. You realize that you can’t talk to her about your favorite books because she thinks they are lame. You realize that she cares more about the color of her nail polish than what you have to say. You realize that she doesn’t like your habit of eating a lot. You realize that you can never have long conversations with her because it always turns awkward. You realize that she has never been the perfect fit for you. That she has never been the puzzle piece that completes you all along.You have wasted all those time pining for her. And you realize how blind you were all those times.
And with that, you move on. Or I guess, you never really move on when what you felt wasn’t real in the first place. You see the world, your world, has a greater scope without her being its focus. You look at the sky and see that it has never really been her who you thought will take you up there. And you may even start realizing that you have been looking at the wrong person all along. That she’s just right by your side, waiting for you.
MY LIFE SUCKSSSSSSSSS… I mean, at least my grades do.
Ugh. I have been working my ass off, balancing my time-consuming extra-curricular activities and my overwhelming academics, just to get a grade average enough to be a college scholar. But alas, my grade in Math11 had to be sooooooooooo low to pull my average down. Now, I am 0.03 percent short of being a college scholar which EFFING SUCKS. And I am now depressed about it. SUPER DEPRESSED. WTH. Okay, kill me now -_-
Found this article I made back when I was training for NSPC. hahahahaha
Some say that seconds before death, our whole life flashes before our eyes. A reel of images filled with memoirs of “what once was” and a subtle reminder that there will never be a “what will be”. Death is never a matter of choice, no matter how you conceive it to be. If one’s time is at hand, then it will be done, no bargains or horse-trades can extend one’s expiration date. As tedious as it seems, you can never cheat death.
Death is a beautiful thing, as many ideate it. For the one lost, it maybe is, but for the one with the loss – it’s never pretty.Surely not for the 4,992 victims that fell to the wet clutches of death in one of the most destructive calamities that went down in the history books of Ormoc City knowns as “The Great Flood”. The flash flood caused by the super typhoon Uring did its worse on the dreaded date of November 5, 1991 which unto this day is still being commemorated by the thousands of Ormocanons who experienced the loss of their loved ones. This was one of the darkest days of Ormoc City, one they can never forget.
Then worse came to worst during the aftermath of the flash flood that raged the city. Ormoc seemed like a ghost town with numerous lifeless bodies found in the coastal barangays of Linao, Camp Downes, Bantigue and the pier. The putrid smell emanated from the decaying bodies took residence in almost every street and canal within the city. Even months after the tragedy, bodies were still being recovered from drainage systems making the tedious process of restoring everything to normal even more out of reach.
But every cloud has a silver lining, we just have the right mind-set to find it – and the Ormocanons certainly did. Despite of the haze of the loss hanging above the locals’ heads, bayanihan still prevailed and they were able to uplift one another’s spirit. Help from different government units and agencies, companies, countrymen and people all over the world poured in. Assistance came and left bringing food, gasoline, medicine, clothing and other necessities to the victims of the flood. The Ormocanons were able to recover, if not fast, in a pace one can expect from a grieving person. But no matter how bright the skies turned out, the demons that remain cagedwithin its history were never forgotten. All they did is move on and hope for a better tomorrow.
4,992 deaths 3,000 missing. 140 houses destroyed. 600 million worth of damage. Yes, Ormoc was beaten down but they were able to stand up. And looking around, remnants of The Great Flood are as visible as an E. Coli strand. With every cold night comes a day full of promises of a brighter tomorrow, and looking back, maybe what happened is not all that bad. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and it certainly made the Ormocanons sturdier. And those deaths they experienced just made them cherish what they have now and not waste a moment less.
I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE :/
I just have to get this off my chest. It feels so heavy and I don’t intend to dwell on it for the rest of the night because I have tons to finish. It’s just that, everything is turning wrong, everything is turning F**CKING WRONG. WHY? WHY? WHY?
Sometimes, things change. What you believed in from the start can change in just a matter of seconds and it leaves you breathless and hurting because you had to let go of what you have held on to for so long. And you just wanna scream and let it all out. All the frustrations, heartaches, and you just wanna badmouth every person responsible for it. And most of all, you just wanna take it back, though you know you shouldn’t, and that’s the part that hurts the most. I can’t take it back. I am helpless. I am nothing.
Maybe it’s just today, or even just this evening. But it sucks. It sucks so bad, even worse than hell. And I don’t know what to do now. I just don’t. i just. Ugh.
Hold on. I KNOW what I want to happen. I want ALL of this to be over. SOON. F*ck them b*tches who hate us, but we will down right finish this.